Hanna rhymes with Banana

Crucio

2012-01-26T04:38:00.001-08:00

SInking into Dementia

2012-01-21T18:49:00.000-08:00

I should be thankful, I should be appreciative, but instead, I find myself desperately searching for an escape route.

Perhaps it is because my mind has become an amorphous of dark things. I constantly find myself being consumed by negativity and stress of unparalleled proportions. The profundity of my misery has taken a toll on almost all aspects of my life; (in the most obvious case) my ability to stay content and satisfied. My social life has declined to a point of no return and I find it to be most worrying that some of my friends seem to find me dull.

What happened to being the life of the party? Many a times I feel like the dark cloud over the party, threatening to drag everyone's moods down; insidious, and lurking in the corner like a thief. Or perhaps I'll stem this issue to my confidence, or lack thereof. Or my memory loss, and how I don't seem to remember anything important anymore.

I'm sure what I'm going through isn't just simply empirical; I'm certain there is some form of logic to it. If I visit a psychiatrist, he'll probably give me a breakdown of my thought process -

but is it of any use at all?

I need a manual. A manual on how to live my life, because growing up is grueling and unnerving and I don't know if I can take it anymore. Friends and loved ones can only do so much, when the problem is yourself.

2012-01-07T19:29:00.001-08:00

Maybe he's not the problem.

Maybe you are.

formspring.me

2011-12-13T18:52:00.001-08:00

Throw me 'dem questions! http://www.formspring.me/hannabegam

2011-12-11T01:55:00.000-08:00

I cannot continue being a disappointment.

This has to end now.

OneRepublic - Come Home LIVE! @ Stripped

2011-11-15T00:19:00.000-08:00

Come home, Mum.

#799 Off my chest

2011-11-15T00:00:00.000-08:00

I'm just so sick of the same drama, over and over again. At first I could put the blame on her, but now I've come to realise that I'm just exacerbating the situation by creating an issue.

Perhaps it was always me.

I don't want to keep on doing this to you. Its just not fair, when all you've been doing is defending me and seeing to my happiness. The problem has always been me. I have trust issues, like every other demented, insecure girl out there. Its time to grow up, and stop whining about minute matters like this.

Now more than ever, I feel the only person who knows me best is myself.

I'm not saying I'm going to shut myself out from the rest of the world, but really you can be surrounded by people who give fantastic advice, but at the end of the day, you have to realise and learn from your mistakes on your own. At times your friends may give you the push, but ultimately its all up to you.

I would never forgive myself if my insecurities was the reason why we couldn't work out.

I love you too much to let you go. I never want to take advantage of your presence and of your love for me. You were probably the best thing that ever happened to me, in a very long time, and I can't quite imagine how I would go through all the drama over the past year without you by my side.

xoxo,

Hanna B.

Feeling like a rhino

2011-11-14T00:12:00.000-08:00

2011-11-11T16:59:00.000-08:00

Had an incredible time with three dodoheads yesterday.

(stupid guy at the restaurant cant even take a proper picture)

Cheers to them for keeping me (in)sane and grounded ;)

xoxo,

Hanna B.

2011-11-05T06:23:00.000-07:00

But then all it takes is for me to listen to Coldplay's Paradise again, and as if by magic, I'm seeing things in a new light.

Magic. Using my new wand.

#795 In the shower

2011-11-05T06:01:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had so much on your mind that no amount of sleep could put off? You head to bed early hoping that you'll simply forget all your worries the morning after. You wake up feeling worst, simply because its the morning and you're a lot more awake. It fails.

You head to the bathroom with your change of clothes and undress. As the water comes pouring down, you feel enveloped, like perhaps- maybe, just maybe, you could just get away from everything. You try your best to let the water wash away the thousand thoughts in your head. Again, it fails.

Feeling ridiculously despondent, you put on your clothes and slowly start to see that perhaps there's no way out of this. You imagine your problems eating you alive, bit by bit. The possibility of this happening sooner than expected dawns upon you and pushes you over the edge. It suffocates you. Leaves you on your knees.

And before you know it, you're crying on the bathroom floor.

Its all so fragile.

xoxo,

Hanna B.

So close to USS, yet so far away

2011-11-03T07:45:00.000-07:00

IF I DONT GO TO USS BY THE END OF THE YEAR I SWEAR ILL JUST-

#793 Here comes the feeling you thought you'd forgotten

2011-11-01T08:19:00.000-07:00

“Some days it was better to stay in bed with the covers pulled up.”

—	Charles Bukowsk

Today is one such day. I had the most rotten day since school reopened. At first I thought I had a good start to the day, learning about Multicamera Production and realising that my hopes of becoming exactly like Rachel McAdams in Morning Glory may very well be a possibility. But then during the last hour and half of the tutorial, I realised that Multicam isn't just about being a floor manager and acting all cool and busy behind the scenes. Its also about using crazily sucky softwares to create graphics that, lets face it, looks horrendous on television.

Had lunch with Rachael and her classmates, and I basically had to force myself not to buy anything from the canteen with what little moolah I had in my wallet. Been overspending over the past few days, and I'm going to have to pay for it in time to come. Pardon the pun. So instead, I packed an old chang kee curry puff, a mini chocolate chip banana muffin, and a tiny packet of strawberry oat biscuits. Enough to last me the entire day, apparently.

Had subediting tutorial after my hour-long break, and I can safely say that was possibly the WORST tutorial i had attended EVER, including the tutorials i had back in mjc. It was that dry, that dull. It felt as though I was going to collapse. For fear of sounding melodramatic, I actually wanted to cry.

After class ended, I helped Razeef out for a bit, using FCP. Faced a couple of challenges, and I must say I didn't really handle it all that well. Headed home, and faced problems with my scanner which got me in trouble with mum who needed a document scanned immediately.

Basically by the end of the day, I was hungry, agitated and annoyed. Disappointed that I took it out on my mum, but we made amends eventually. Thank God she was understanding.

And then now, I'm feeling the worst pain you could feel of all. sigh. Have you ever been so emotionally troubled that you can actually feel the searing pain in your chest? Its all too empowering and overbearing for me to handle. I thought I could put the matter behind me, but nothing is ever that simple, no? I want to say I've given up, but I haven't. This is a quality embedded in my character. Jealousy.

Fuck this. Just fuck everything.

2011-11-01T08:04:00.000-07:00

Biting my lip to keep myself from tearing up.

She fails, yet again.

#791 I should be doing my assignment

2011-10-31T00:16:00.001-07:00

What do you when you're bored on your bed (with leopard sheets), with an iPhone with faaantastic photo editing apps? Oh, and when you're also just a little uninspired to start writing for a sub-editing assignment that's due tomorrow.

Oh my word, I'm so awesome.

And maybe a little screwed for my pending writing assignment. OH THE JOY!

xoxo,

Hanna B.

#790 Detachment

2011-10-25T05:22:00.000-07:00

I don't feel I belong here anymore. The thread representing the relationship I have with my mother, father and sister seems to have snapped. I have absolutely no attachment to them anymore. I love my mother, because she's been there for me, but apart from that, she hasn't reached out to me. If I died tomorrow, no one in this house would actually be able to say that they actually knew me.

It makes me feel so lost, so directionless. Everyday I'm fighting a war in my head. I might appear calm and collected on the outside, but its all a facade. My desire for wanderlust has consumed my being, and I feel the need to travel to find the part of myself that has left. A journey of self-discovery is what I really need.

I'm sick of living life like this. Even if it wasn't for my boyfriend migrating to Canada, I feel I'm probably going to move out anyway. I've always found it a little strange how I sometimes like to go about my everyday activities all by myself, without anyone on my back passing judgment at every little thing I do. Free of comparison, of condescend.

Perhaps its the society I live in; I just don't think life is all about slogging and working hard in school, only to attain a job in the future with the same amount of stress. Call me crazy, but I really feel as though life is about finding yourself, appreciating life, paying attention to the people you love, and bringing yourself closer to God.

I want to leave this place.

xoxo,

Hanna B.

#789 Attitude

2011-10-24T05:04:00.000-07:00

So I had a perfectly awesome topic in mind for my blogpost, but then my mind seemingly wandered off to Twitter, and I effectively got distracted, lost my train of thought, and basically FORGOT what I wanted to blog about. Story of my life! I've grown so accustomed to forgetting things, and letting things slip, that I've lost the chokehold on what to remember and what to forget.

Anyway, today was the first day back! And even though it was only for a 1 hr lecture at 9am, I was generally excited to head back and get my brain working. Can't really say much about Multimedia and ELectronic Publishing, except that its probably going to be an extremely technical subject, what with one of our assignments being the crafting of an iphone/ipad app, which I'm really excited about.

Speaking of which, this friday is the 28th of october! The day I've been waiting for, other than my birthday of course. If everything goes according to plan, ill have my hands on a brand new black 32gb iphone 4s at the end of the day. Goodbye nokia yamtart!

Back to school stuff. Tomorrow I'll be having Basic Subediting which is yet another journalism-related subject. Hopefully I ace this once and for all and really muster all the strength to work hard. Well, not just for this subject but for everything really. The boyfriend's leaving for canada (forever, I might add) on the 17th of february so I really do need to get my studies on track right from the very beginning, because the likelihood of me being affected by his absence on my studies is very high.

The good friends from 1C01 are all in the same class, everyone but me. A little left out, but no point mulling over the matter when there's nothing I can do about it but to make the best out of the situation. At least I have ghettogurl jz to keep me going! Can't wait to spend time with Your Royal JessieJ-ness after being away from her during the hols:)

xoxo,

Hanna B.

2011-10-19T03:15:00.000-07:00

"When you’ve already let someone go and they’re long gone and then you realise how in love with them you still are."

I never want this to happen.

My friends, my relatives, my boyfriend. I don't ever want to lose them without them knowing how much they mean to me and how much they've impacted my life.

Live, love, appreciate.

#787 Extremity

2011-10-17T09:33:00.000-07:00

It has recently occurred to me that I've been blogging and penning down my thoughts far less this year in comparison to previous years. I mean, take a look at my archives! The difference in number of posts is drastic. A humdinger of some sort eh?

For fear of sounding cryptic, let me just clear the air: I am not blogging less simply because I have a lot of things I want to hide from cyber world. My life isn't THAT scandalous to have its content spread like wildfire on the net. Then what is the reason for the drastic decrease in the number of blogposts on my blog? To put it simply, I am nothing but ordinary. And an ordinary life brings nothing but jejune writing.

The truth is, we are all hungry. Hungry for nothing more than something different, something unconventional; out of the box. We constantly rack our brains to come up with fresh ideas for anything and everything really, so that the world doesn't seem like such a dull place to live in. But, if you're like me, and you're a Monotheist, you'll know that this world is just a passing phase. Its the afterlife we should be thinking about, for that is everlasting.

No, I'm not here to preach. Who am I to preach when really, I am a hypocrite when it comes to my religion? Truth be told, I lost my train of thought halfway through this post, and now, much like life itself, this post is steering towards death.

In the end, doesn't it always come down to the big D word? DEATH. Of late, whenever I hear the word, the insides of my tummy does somersaults, and not in a good way. Ironically, upon hearing the word, I can almost feel my heart stop for a second. Why yes, I am afraid of death. Isn't everyone?

What strikes me deep about Death is how incredibly unprepared I am for it. It strikes me deep, but apparently not deep enough to want to mend my ways. Why? I ask myself. Because, like so many others out there, I take life for granted. And expect not to die at such a young age, when really, God can take our life anytime. Anytime. Its scary when you think about it.

Oh my word. How did talks of not blogging enough eventually lead to thoughts of Death?

The many million thoughts that flit in and out of my head.

Goodness.

xoxo,

Hanna B.

#786 Too School For Cool

2011-10-15T07:18:00.000-07:00

It is unhealthy how much I'm actually looking forward to going back to school. The working world is something I've not been able to conquer; or maybe its because I'm just working for the sake of getting money. Hasn't that always been the case? From Cotton On, to Dorothy Perkins, and now, as a Colgate Promoter and Street Surveyor. Don't mock me. I hate what I'm doing. I just need the money to get a new phone. My pink nokia.. is a big yamtart*.

But before I eat my words about looking forward to school, I'm going to make the best out of my last week of the holidays, by spending time with friends, cousins, family, and of course, the boyfriend.

The 24th of this month will not only signify the reopening of school, but also the commencement of my diet regime. I've effectively put it on hold since the fasting month, and I've turned into a cookie monster, finishing up all the cookies in the house from eid. But of course, mum has no problem with me doing just that, because that would mean less snacks for her to munch on. TIME TO LOSE THE FATS RAWR.

I have a whole list of what I want to get with my pay, the first being the iPhone 4s. NOH DONT START WITH ME ABOUT HOW I SHOULD WAIT FOR iPHONE5 I HAVE MADE UP MY MIND. Right sorry for the outburst, just had to let that out before someone else gets on my back about it. I'm not waiting any longer! It feels as though I'm the last person (or youth, whatever) on the face of the earth EVER to get a smartphone. ITS TIME.

Right, off to watch some friends, google plus with Sheila + Budi, maybe talk to Raz otp if he remembers, and then I'll hit the sack. Another day promoting Colgate tmr at Ang Mo Kio Hub.

24th, come fast please. 9th of november, oh please come even faster.

xoxo,
Hanna B.

*I hate yam. So having it in tart form would be absolutely abominable.

Jessie J - Who You Are

2011-10-11T21:38:00.000-07:00

#784 Deprivation of Retail Therapy

2011-10-05T03:13:00.000-07:00

Boy would I kill to get my hands on a couple of Forever21 vouchers. I miss shopping so so much.

xoxo,

Hanna B.

LMFAO - Sexy and I Know It

2011-10-05T03:12:00.000-07:00

heeh.

#782 L'amour est un beau phénomène

2011-10-04T08:28:00.000-07:00

2011-10-02T19:25:00.001-07:00

My goodness i'm really totally shit at relationships.

2011-09-27T08:18:00.000-07:00

An idle mind is a devil's workshop.

That's all I need to say to justify the thoughts in my head. Maybe I deserve all the shit I've had to put up with lately. Maybe it was all planned by God, to teach me a lesson. I've had no moral conscience of late, delving in the unthinkable, like it lives in my very blood.

What do you do when you don't recognise the person staring back at you in the mirror anymore?

#779 Idiots

2011-09-21T08:36:00.000-07:00

I share the same sentiments as the great Mr Depp.

You know, I honestly cannot fathom how some people can be so ridiculously shallow. Judging people just because they look a little different than you. Have you been brought up in such narrow-minded conditions that it never occurred to you that the world is not going to conform to YOUR view of it? There are so many things in life that we cannot understand, so why judge people because of it? Do you think you're doing them any justice?

Screw you idiots. I'm gonna see to your eradication in the human race, mark my words.

2011-09-20T14:49:00.000-07:00

“It’s hard to accept, but you can’t change the past. You can’t go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen. Because life’d be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. But you can change the future and that’s a beautiful thing about life. Yes, you will make mistakes. And yes, you will have bad days - but as long as you let the past go, you’ll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of you. Knowing that things were meant to happen. Knowing that each day you will learn something so that you keep growing to be a better person. Life is like a rope, twined in all its complexities and yet weaved into one marvelous stream that you have the chance you use something amazing from. So grab hold of it.”

Coldplay - Paradise (Official)

2011-09-18T06:52:00.000-07:00

#776 I think a part of me died yesterday

2011-09-16T21:50:00.000-07:00

Never have grades affected me this negatively before. I've always been able to bounce back up from the darkness and convince myself that I'll do better the next time. Although a small part of me thinks that the cycle of failure and disappointment will only repeat itself, somehow most of my being manages to muster the courage to keep fighting for the person I could be.

But I honestly don't think its going to happen this time around. I woke up this morning, and I felt incomplete. Like as if somewhere along the course of my sleep last night, Hope left me, for good. I've never been weaker. Never been so down in the dumps before.

I think the worst part of it all is that my mother and my sister never was happy with the way I turned out. They always wanted me to be someone better, someone greater. I understand, they only want the best for me, but if they really did love me, they'd accept me for who I've turned out to be. But that doesn't seem to be the case.

I feel so old, so dirty, so forgotten. My life feels like an old monochrome photograph, left out into the bright sunlight, waiting to turn blank and fade into nothingness. My infirmities have crept up slowly, and I can feel them threatening to swallow me whole.

I don't think I have the strength to fight it anymore.

xoxo,
Hanna B.

2011-09-10T22:32:00.000-07:00

Missing someone isn’t about how long it’s been since you’ve seen them last or the amount of time since you’ve talked. It’s about that very moment when you’re doing something and you wish that they were right there with you.

#774 Shopping List

2011-09-10T22:14:00.000-07:00

1. External Hard Drive

2. iPad2

3. MacBook Pro

4. iPhone 5 (when its released)

5. New wardrobe

- jeans (black, light blue)

- tops

-dresses

6. Cordless phone

7. Footwear

- sandals

- heels

8. Bags

there we go. so now,

MOOLAH?!

#773 Nobody's Perfect

2011-09-09T21:42:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I'm not your idea of a perfect child, Mum. Believe me, I'm trying to be the best person that I can be, but my hormones aren't doing any justice. If its any consolation, I'm planning to study hard and migrate out. Just so you know, I love you very much. I say it every single day to you, but I think you've heard it one too many times that you've actually stopped believing it.

2011-09-08T03:47:00.001-07:00

I don't know how my boyfriend puts up with me.

I can be such a relationship retard.

"You were worth the wait"

2011-09-05T21:19:00.000-07:00

#770 Miss Fatty Bom Bom

2011-09-04T22:02:00.000-07:00

Flunking the BMR paper seems inevitable. I found myself taking an excruciatingly long time just on the first question. Just praying for the best right now.

My stomach is reviled by my overeating, especially so, after the end of the fasting month. I can feel my insides going on a strike and protesting by sending balls of fire bouncing off my stomach walls. Seriously its like a war in there. Going to the loo 10x times more only justifies this theory even further. Hmm, but maybe it isnt so much my food consumption that triggered the war...maybe its because of that one time i ate an entire spoonful of chilli at ThaiExpress as dared by baby. Yes.

Been doing lots of research on my university options and all I feel is regret. It never really occurred to me the expenses my parents would incur if I were to pursue my studies overseas. And I was so persistent on studying overseas. It was just ignorance on my part. I should have done my calculations earlier and worked a million times harder so I would have an opportunity to get into a local uni. And now its too late.

If I could, I'd kill myself.

IF I COULD. Not that I would.

or maybe.........

nah.

Wouldn't leave this world without eating everything on my To-Eat List. Why yes, I do have a To-Eat List. I'm strange that way.

xoxo,

Hanna B.

#769 There's no stopping us right now

2011-09-04T04:22:00.000-07:00

I feel so close to you right now.

#768 Together

2011-08-24T14:39:00.000-07:00

So I got back with Budi. I know we've been through much madness in the past, but it took me having to take one step away from us to realise that deep down, the both of us saw something bigger for ourselves.

Friend/s, I love Budi with all my heart. I want you to support my decision, to be behind me in my actions and this particular decision. I treasure you because at some point, you were all I ever had, giving me sound advice when I was flummoxed; when I didn't have a clue what to do, what to feel, you were there for me. To pull me out of the tangled mess I had created for myself.

But its different now. My entire experience with Budi thus far has taught me to be imperturbable and patient. Thing is, I've envisioned the future, and he's there with me. I know, yet again, its a long shot, but if I don't give him, give us, another go, I'll regret it for the rest of my life.

I've always loathed regret. It feels like a terrible, ever-growing monster gnawing at the insides of my stomach, engulfing every other emotion. It envelopes my being, feeds on my conscience like second nature. Would you want yourself feeling that for the rest of your life?

He's going to Canada for good next year. I know. I know its going to be wearisome and onerous, but I'm gonna test the theory that Love Conquers All.

And in Cheryl Cole's words,

"I'm gonna fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love

If its worth having, its worth fighting for."

xoxo,

Hanna B.

Role Model

2011-07-26T22:57:00.000-07:00

Mishal Husain BBC Presenter

#766 Update

2011-07-16T09:09:00.000-07:00

Just came back from my first day of work at Dorothy Perkins. Truth be told, its a rather dull job- I get to roam around the shop and stare into blank space a lot, and not get reprimanded.

But hey, i'm just working for the money. Yes, ultimate slut motto.

No, not a slut.

Will be working again tomorrow, Monday and Wednesday. Come surprise me! Saw Ameena and Asaad today which was such a pleasant surprise. I know there'll inevitably be more surprises with other people cuz its Tampines we're talking about. 90% of my friends go there on a regular basis. OKAY IM RAMBLING LALALA

By the way if I haven't already mentioned, HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART II WAS UHMAAAAAZING.

(SPOILER ALERT)

The part where Voldy leaves Snape to die, and Snape gives the memory to Harry..When Harry saw how Snape fought to save him because he loved Lily..How sad Snape felt when he saw the woman he loved marry another man..How Snape was in cahoots with Dumbledore all along..How Snape valiantly risked his life for Harry...

MAJOR SOB FEST AHHHHHHHHH

Okay anyway, I gotta go get back to my sleepover at Sheila's. Before she bites my head off for neglecting her for too long. Ah that little chilli padi.

xoxo,
Hanna B.

#765 des photos de vous, des photos de moi

2011-07-15T08:01:00.000-07:00

2011-07-09T20:58:00.000-07:00

What I'm doing, its for the best. Its my last chance to salvage the situation, before it all falls apart in the end. I'm only doing this for the slightest most minuscule possibility of things working out in the future.

2011-07-05T07:00:00.000-07:00

I love you.

What does it really mean? That you love her for who she is as a person?

Or does saying it mean that you love no one else but her?

2011-07-03T06:33:00.000-07:00

2011-07-03T00:05:00.000-07:00

You don't know where your heart lies, and that hurts me so much. I've been taken for granted, over and over again. I just feel so used.

Happiness has always been short-lived for me. I can't take the prolonged feeling of paranoia and disappointment anymore.

2011-06-29T16:19:00.001-07:00

Weekends, please come quick.

#759 Suffocation

2011-06-29T00:19:00.000-07:00

Immense disappointment. Clearly I've been neglecting my studies. And it shows in my grades. Other people don't have to put as much effort as me, and yet they do better than me. At the risk of sounding whiny and needy, I've always felt life rarely does justice to me. But then again, when I compare my situation to that of sunday afternoon's, I have a lot to be thankful for.

I've just gotta count my blessings and do some self-reflection. An introspection. Awakening of some sort. Close to 1 1/2 years till graduation. Not too late to put in more effort and get the results I want. The results I need.

I don't care if the stress pushes me over the edge, envelopes me, suffocates me. Call me melodramatic, whatever. I am my own pillar of strength, I am my own saving grace.

xoxo,

Hanna B.

#758 For the DHL holder

2011-06-23T08:57:00.000-07:00

Tired as fuck, but I've still gotta put up a strong front for the best friend. I've never been so pressurized to do well in a cross-disciplinary subject before, let alone any subject. I guess its because its also razeef's grades we're talking about, so if I don't produce distinction standard work, i'll never hear the end of it. Which means..decades and decades of painful reminders,

"Remember the time you didn't work hard enough for our law report which pulled my entire gpa down for the semester?"

He'll probably be blabbering to my children about it too. You know, when they go over to his place to have sleepovers with his children. And then my children will come home with not only scorn in their eyes, but pure unadulterated disappointment too. I know its a long shot, but I can totally see it.

Can't you?

xoxo,

Hanna B.

#757 Single and happy

2011-06-21T07:45:00.000-07:00

But you know, for the first time in my life, I'm actually loving this.

I have more important things to worry about.

#756 Flashback of 09

2011-06-18T09:03:00.000-07:00

I mean, you would have thought that after 2 years, you'd be alright with me. You have a way of making me feel so minuscule and pathetic.

Sometimes it takes time for one to realise that what he/she did was a mistake. I'm sorry it took me a long time to overcome my envy and jealousy. These dangerous emotions have a tendency to take over my entire being and 'blind' me from making rational decisions.

The strange part is, in true fact, there was nothing to worry about in the first place. I now know.

I know this may not be the most sincerest of apologies, but I really don't know what to do to make it right anymore. I've tried everything. Apparently I'll never be forgiven.

I'm sorry.

xoxo,

Hanna B.

Britney Spears - Inside Out

2011-06-18T00:30:00.000-07:00

#754 Saving Myself

2011-06-16T02:59:00.000-07:00

No matter what you look like on the outside (above ground), it’s about what’s inside that counts (under the soil). Those people in magazines and on television flaunt their bodies and so we feel as though, compared to them, we aren’t great at all. But that’s the thing, we don’t even know them! We have no idea who they are as a person. We know ourselves though, and we know that we try to be good people, and that’s all that counts!

Always believe that you are unique, and beautiful.

(http://teixy.tumblr.com/post/6527354053)

xoxo,
Hanna B.

2011-06-13T23:10:00.000-07:00

I feel the need for literary expression. But I don't know how. I've lost the ability to tell people how I'm feeling. And as a result, I find myself taciturn, feebly attempting to string the right words into sentences.

I think its time I start reading again.

2011-06-13T09:35:00.000-07:00

Help, I'm a wreck.

'Deathly Hallows - Part 2' runtime posted online, film is shortest of the eight

2011-06-12T07:35:00.001-07:00

An Australian IMAX website has the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2 runtime listed on their website: 125 minutes.

That means the film is the shortest of all eight. Below is a list of how they all stack up.

Having seen a test screening two months ago, I can assure you that a 2 hour Potter film is nothing to be worried about. The film moves with such high energy that you'll feel plenty satisfied by the time the credits roll.

- Sorcerer's Stone: 152 minutes
- Chamber of Secrets: 161 minutes
- Prisoner of Azkaban: 141 minutes
- Goblet of Fire: 157 minutes
- Order of the Phoenix: 138 minutes
- Half-Blood Prince: 153 minutes
- Deathly Hallows, Part 1: 147 minutes
- Deathly Hallows, Part 2: 125 minutes

(http://www.mugglenet.com/app/news/show/4417)

I can forsee myself still seated after the movie, crying my eyes out. Its the end of an era!

I FUCKING LOVE HARRY POTTER.

xoxo,

Hanna B.

2011-06-10T00:19:00.001-07:00

Less is more. Let's test that theory.

2011-06-09T09:16:00.000-07:00

Attempting the absurd.

Coldplay - The Hardest Part

2011-06-09T09:12:00.000-07:00

#747 Appreciation

2011-06-09T08:51:00.000-07:00

Its nice when you have friends who believe in you. Who believe that you can excel, that you can do well in life. It gives you a little hope.

Hope is like a little child, she has to be nurtured and taken care of in the best way possible so that she'll grow up to be the best person she can be.

Just today, I was at BizPark with JZ and Claire, and we were talking about, well, everything. The future was one of the topics. I said I wanted to be a newscaster. They agreed, and told me they could see me presenting the news on TV. BBC.

I don't want to idealise, but its definitely something I want to work towards. I have a long way to go, but its nice to see that its not such a far-fetched dream. Its nice to see that I have friends who support me.

Cheers to my best friend Razeef, too, who has ALWAYS supported me. I never quite thanked you enough, but really, you've always been my pillar of strength.

I know, this post is a little random, and out of the blue. No, I'm not dying. I just think its nice to appreciate your friends and the little things they do. Thank you, Razeef, JZ and Claire, for believing in me :)

xoxo,

Hanna B.

Fefe Dobson - Stuttering

2011-06-06T02:36:00.000-07:00

#745 This Term Break

2011-06-05T07:48:00.000-07:00

Expected. But its alright. I have indeed become comfortably numb.

I zone out a lot. And most of the time, my mind is found at places I never knew existed. I think so far ahead, sometimes I scare myself.

I wonder what the future holds for me. It may seem as though we've got everything figured out now. We think we're in love. We think we'll be scarred for life. We think we can't live without certain people. But how can we possibly tell?

Questions, millions of questions, left answered. I can't possibly go with the flow- its such a ridiculously oblivious mindset. Preparation. I need to prepare myself. Build walls, be strong. Too strong for my own good.

Strength is for those with foresight, weakness is for the unprepared.

xoxo,

Hanna B.

Why I Love Chandler

2011-05-29T21:35:00.001-07:00

Chandler tells it like it is. I ask myself these same questions every day.

#743 I love my friends

2011-05-28T00:32:00.000-07:00

Have I not mentioned how much I absolutely adore my friends? I had the best time with the awesome people in this polaroid yesterday. We had sushi and ben&jerry's. TRUE BLUE BLISS I TELL YA.

And then at night, I went to a bar, for the first time with Budi & his mates. Twas at this rooftop place near the Fullerton Hotel. My oh my was it an experience. The ambience, atmosphere and music was uber cool- I honestly felt like I was in one of Pitbull's music videos, hahaha.

Absolutely elated that there are so many things to look forward to in the near future. Like I told JZ, having something to look forward to, makes life all the more worthwhile!

Anyone else feeling happy that I'm happy? :)

xoxo,

Hanna B.

2011-05-27T19:44:00.000-07:00

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH *starry eyed*

#741 Guys, LISTEN UP.

2011-05-24T05:21:00.000-07:00

Taken from SunStar Cebu dated May 23, 2011.

“DO NOT DATE A GIRL WHO’S INTO HARRY POTTER IF YOU’RE A GUY WHO’S INTO TWILIGHT” by Mikel Francisco Rama
Date a girl who isn’t into Harry Potter (HP) — trust me, your life would be easier. Find a normal girl who’s into GLEE or Vampire Diaries or whatever.
These Harry Potter fangirls, they can be quite a handful.
When you’re dating an HP fangirl, never expect her to make you her number one man. She may like you but rest assured that her heart only belongs to Harry. But don’t feel bad about it because Harry’s into Ginny Weasley (frankly, I don’t see the appeal) and this will break your girl’s heart. And you’ll be there to soak up the excess of her unrequited love.
Sometimes an HP fangirl may become depressed all of a sudden. She will break down and weep for an inordiante amount of time. When this happens, do not panic. She just probably read Deathly Hallows again. She’ll be fine when it gets to the pilogue.
When you’re dating an HP fangirl. You have to spend time memorizing all the imporant magic spells.
When she says “Lumos”, that means you have to turn on the light.
When she says “Accio remote,” that means you have to get the remote control and give it to her.
When she says “Avada Kedavra,” that means you’re pretty much in trouble.
Dating a Harry Potter fangirl can be especially difficult when the release of the next Harry Potter film is drawing near. This period can be full of tension as she will be emotionally unstable during the time. She will be nervous and fusssy about how and when she can get the sure seats reserved to see the film on IMAX.
And you’ll have to pray that Warner Brothers doesn’t push back the release date like what they did with Half-Blood Prince. Otherwise, you’ll have to boycott every Warner Brothers film that comes out (That means no Batman for you. :(( )
She’ll watch the latest trailer on her iPhone every 30 minutes and you’ll have to be there by her side to make sure she doesn’t convulse out of excitement.
When dating a Harry Potter fangirl, expect her to roll her eyes at you saying “Muggle” under her breath every time you don’t understand a Harry Potter reference. When this happens, don’t be sad. It’s not your fault that you’re a filthy muggle.
You should always remember that Cedric Diggory is not alive, nor does he, by any circumstance, sparkle.
WHen dating a Harry Potter fangirl, have some sick leave credits ready because you’ll never know if you’re going to have to go on a quest for Horcruxes.
Having said all this, dating a girl who’s into Harry Potter isn’t all that bad. they are passionate and it can be magical dating a Harry Potter fangirl. They also like to play with wands.
But trust me, when I say never ever under any and all circumstances date a girl who’s into Harry Potter if you’re a guy who’s into Twilight.

#740 Embarassed

2011-05-24T04:24:00.000-07:00

In retrospect, to sum up my feelings in one word, its EMBARASSED. I've never been this embarassed about anything in my life- ever.

I was too weak, too clingy, too.. desperate.

I'm ashamed of myself. Whatever happened to the strong, confident Hanna? Let's bring her back, shall we? She's been away for far too long.

xoxo,

Hanna B.

"Procrastination" Tales Of Mere Existence

2011-05-22T08:21:00.000-07:00

So let's be productive for a change shall we?
Resolution for this week,

NO PROCRASTINATION.

xoxo,

Hanna B.

2011-05-19T07:58:00.000-07:00

If its not you, its me. Either that, or its the both of us.

Tonight, its the latter.

2011-05-16T21:21:00.000-07:00

And he whispered,

"I'll meet you where all the fairy lights are

Just you and me."

#735 A brand new day

2011-05-15T01:00:00.000-07:00

1) JOB: I can't wait to immerse myself in work. Planning to get a job asap, thats paramount on my list right now. I've been finding myself completely broke of late. Been spending excessively-all the outings, cabbing, movies. Very, very bad. *spanks self* And I doubt I can curb those expenses, so it looks as though I just have to find another avenue to get money!

2) SOCCER: Also, I'm thinking of joining the girls' soccer team? Not kidding! Soccer's always been a sexy sport.. hahah but more importantly, I just think its time I start taking care of myself and my body, for a change. I'm losing weight the wrong way, its time I amend it before its too late. About 2.5 kg to my ideal weight. Anything's possible. Even when its as mismatched as Hanna and Exercising together.

3) EVENTS IC: Ah yes, I made it into the main comm of my dip course, under Events. Event planning has always given me a thrill. So yay for that! First event coming up, CCN Day on Friday. Better get cracking on planning.

Very soon, I'll have no time to think of..other things. *pats self on back*

xoxo,

Hanna B.

Adele- First Love

2011-05-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

"Forgive me first love
But I'm tired
I need to get away
To feel again"

#733 My Hands

2011-05-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

And subconsciously, she finds her hands

on her face

Her fingers,

they're caressing her eyelids shut-

trying to find peace

amidst all the turmoil.

Gold,

she exclaims,

as she finds calm

in the storm.

She takes a deep breath

and smells

the one true thing,

a fragment of the hope she once had

the scent-

of you.

2011-05-13T23:18:00.000-07:00

Wish I knew what it was before deciding if its a lie.. hmm.

#731 Mrs Cramps- oh that bitch.

2011-05-12T06:37:00.000-07:00

Today I had horrendous cramps. It has happened one other time before this, and it was the exact same sensation. Basically the pain will get unbearable, I'll start to feel nauseous, my vision gets blurred, and I'll feel like there's a mysterious energy (from God knows where) forcing my eyelids shut.

I left my Broadcast Performance class about 2 hours early to rest at home :x

So, after a bit of research, this is what I found.

Adapted from: http://www.medicinenet.com/menstrual_cramps/page2.htm#5whyare

Why are some cramps so painful?

Menstrual cramps are caused by the uterine contractions that occur in response to prostaglandins and other chemicals. The cramping sensation is intensified when clots or pieces of bloody tissue from the lining of the uterus pass through the cervix, especially if a woman's cervical canal is narrow.

The difference between menstrual cramps that are more painful and those that are less painful may be related to a woman's prostaglandin levels. Women with menstrual cramps have elevated levels of prostaglandins in the endometrium (uterine lining) when compared with women who do not experience cramps. Menstrual cramps are very similar to those a pregnant woman experiences when she is given prostaglandin as a medication to induce labor.

So basically this means that there's a chance that my cervical canal is narrow. WHUT.

And guys will never, NEVER understand what menstrual cramps feel like, because the level of pain felt during the worst cases of menstrual cramps is equivalent to that of when a pregnant woman is given medication to induce labour.

And some boys wonder why National Service isn't made compulsory for girls?

*rolls eyes*

xoxo,

Hanna B.

#730 FML. Actually, don't.

2011-05-11T03:28:00.000-07:00

Today I spent the entire day at home. And 90% of the time, I was on my bed. Felt like a downright bed potato. I need more days like this, definitely. THIS, was my long overdue Me Time. Did the usual, facebook, twitter, tumblr..And watched Misfits, Glee and Big Bang Theory.

OHMYGOD. I totally love Kurt and Blaine from Glee. They are the very definition of true love. Adorable to bits! Couldn't help but be awed by the sheer innocence, simplicity and purity of their relationship. That doesn't mean I believe in homosexuality. I just like the actors and how they were able to act so well given their controversial and unconventional roles. #imjustsaying

Sucky part is that there was a surprise graded Pop Quiz in AudioPro lecture. So, FML right there. But there's really nothing I can do about it. Except maybe just work extra hard for my assignments which account for a greater percentage of my final grade. Yeah, I'll do that.

Can't wait for Friday, where I'll be going out with Rachael (and possibly the other galz) to watch Beastly! Heheh I'll be seeing myself on the big screen ;D Hmm, speaking of movies, I watched Thor on Monday with Aziz. Pretty eventful day, Monday. But let's not get there. Eventful, but not really memorable.

Oh yes, and Saturday. Going out for ice cream and shopping with an ex cotton on colleague! His treat. Let's hope its for the shopping too :D

Happy happy, oyes, pretty happy.

xoxo,

Hanna B.

Vanessa Hudgens - "Can I Have This Dance" From HSM 3

2011-05-09T18:47:00.000-07:00

:')

#728 Crazy Hanna is BACK~

2011-05-08T06:47:00.000-07:00

#727 On the bed, ready to sleep

2011-05-08T00:35:00.000-07:00

Went out with Jay-to-the-Z last Friday. I had an awesome time with her! We went to Nex, then Jalan Kayu, and ate to our hearts' content. She's hereby crowned my eating buddy. And her recommendations for food is remarkable because its spot on- exactly what I like! Yoghurt, Tom Yam, Banana Crumble..heh. And of course, it wasn't just the food that was memorable, but more importantly, the company. If it hadn't been for the Perth trip, this beautiful friendship would not have been discovered, and developed. So for that, I thank Fate :)

Moving on, I can't stress how much I absolutely despite being alone at home. It does damage to my sanity and leaves me feeling empty. Especially at such a trying period of time, all I want to do is be surrounded by the company of my friends.

I have this perfect image of what my life should be. I'd be intelligent, and put in effort for every single thing that I do. I'd be more religious and pray diligently. I'd be the perfect daughter, sister and friend. Life would be so fulfilling.

But somehow, I just can't accomplish this. Its too arduous, requires too much effort. And that saddens me. Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself, I'm such a disappointment.

I need a huge enlightenment. Some big change, something to turn my life around. It feels as though I've reached a dead end, and I don't know what to do next. The company of friends can only do so much. Its when you lie down on your bed, ready to fall asleep, that you realise that you're alone. Very much alone. And that in itself, is a thought that can drive a mere mortal mad.

xoxo,

Hanna B.

#726 Agenda for tmr

2011-05-06T08:32:00.001-07:00

1. Make a Mother's Day card for the Momma
2. Watch Misfits
3. Re-sync 977 songs into the ipod touch
4. Finish reading The Alchemist
5. Plan an assignment completion schedule

Why yes, I just planned to make a plan in #5. Heh.

xoxo,
Hanna B.

#725 Over

2011-05-05T04:20:00.000-07:00

Over at last. Strange part is, everything- the misunderstandings, the arguments, the feelings of insecurity and discontentment could have all been avoided. And now we know. Its so strange, bizzare in fact. It just shows how everything happens for a reason. If its not meant to be, God will find a way of not making things work out.

If it is meant to be, then it'll happen, even when all the odds are against you.

Just like in The Adjustment Bureau.

xoxo,
Hanna B.

Don't Fight It - The Panics

2011-05-05T04:15:00.000-07:00

Credit for the recommendation, Razeef :)

#723 Alysha

2011-04-30T09:29:00.000-07:00

"I look tanned right?"
"Yeah.."
"Cause I had to spend a day out emceeing..sigh."
"Hmm, but you look sort of bronze though. Like you're glowing"

I love Alysha. She makes a bad tan sound good ;)

Adele- Take It All

2011-04-28T08:02:00.000-07:00

#721 God

2011-04-28T07:05:00.000-07:00

God is great. Whenever you're unsure about something, or you're clueless on what your next move should be, just pray.

God always helps you make the right decision. He always puts things in perspective. I love Allah.

#720 Simplicity

2011-04-27T03:02:00.000-07:00

Sipping on coffee while people-watching.

A day at the zoo.

Lip synching and making random videos together.

Being at the viewing gallery at changiairport and talking about the future.

Going for interesting exhibitions in museums.

Slow dancing to Buble by the beach.

Playing in the rain.

Lying down on grass while star-gazing.

#imjustsaying

#719 Enough

2011-04-27T00:20:00.000-07:00

I've never felt more alone. But I realise that the loneliness stings less when I'm in the company of my friends. And when I'm extremely busy.

I have a strange feeling that when I grow up, I'll be more involved in my job than I am with my social life. That's good. I want that.

I want to focus on my studies for a change. No more sad, soppy boy problems.

Enough.

xoxo,
Hanna B.

#718 A new year

2011-04-25T03:54:00.000-07:00

The title may be a little misleading. No, it isn't technically a brand new year, not even in the Muslim calendar. It is, however, a new year in school.

Just had my first day. So many changes, too many in fact. Rachael and Qah aren't in the same class as me, which has got to be the saddest thing ever. Last year was amazing, especially 1.2, because I got closer to them. Much closer. And now, we're separated. Its sad, but hey, at least I've got Claire and Keith :)

I am saddened at the fact that I don't blog quite as often as I used to. I mean, I sometimes try to blog like my old self back in secondary school, with all the bitching and gossiping, but I am finding it increasingly a challenge. I guess that's what you call growth and maturity.

Speaking of growth, have any of you felt like as if you don't recognise the face staring back at you in the mirror? I mean, I have been having this feeling of late. It can't all be a coincidence that I removed my mole. Its just that all my life, I've looked a certain way. I've always been known as "the girl with the mole". That's what I've always been able to identify myself with.

What happens when its gone? Yeah, I guess it is a matter of getting used to. Removing my mole was a good thing. I feel a tad more confident. But then why do I feel confused, like as if I'm looking at a complete stranger in the reflection?

Maybe this is what they call identity crisis. I'm struggling to find who I am. To find a place where I belong, in this strange, wicked world. Or maybe I'm just over-analysing this entire situation. Yeah. The latter- that sounds more like me. Always over-thinking.

Yikes, this blogpost doesn't have a direction anymore :x

Gimme a sec. Let me sort out my life for a bit.

xoxo,

Hanna B.

ADELE - 'Make You Feel My Love'

2011-04-18T21:39:00.000-07:00

No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

#716 Sometimes you can't make it on your own

2011-04-18T21:08:00.000-07:00

So many things have changed. So many. It pains me to see the damage I've caused.

Nothing lasts forever, they say. So what happens when you leave, and I'm left stranded?

What have I done?

Time to make amends, before its too late.

The Naked And Famous - Punching In A Dream

2011-04-15T22:47:00.000-07:00

2011-04-15T22:04:00.000-07:00

I gotta work out. Really.

I have to do this for myself.

#713 I wish, I wish

2011-04-14T21:37:00.000-07:00

I wish I could be beautiful.

I wish I didn't have a 5-minute attention span.

I wish I was good at something for a change.

I wish I was a better friend.

#712 Three things

2011-04-14T04:58:00.001-07:00

First, new phone! Nokia C3. Having been successfully convinced to get an iphone, stupid me didn't tell my dad. And he decided to surprise me with a pink phone that looks like a Blackberry. I admit, I was a tad disappointed at first, but having used it for about a day plus, I have learned to love the phone. I mean, really- its so pink.

Its lovely.

Texting is gonna take some getting used to. I'm so used to the numerical keypad from my previous nokia. I could type without even looking at my phone! Yeah well, its always a matter of getting used to. No problem.

Second, mole is removed. FINALLY! Had the surgery just now. They injected my mole and made it super numb. Then they covered my face with a green cloth, with a hole strategically at the mole area. I couldn't see anything, I could hear the equipment and movement. It was as if my sense of hearing was heightened. Every scratch, every noise was magnified. A little terrifying, leaving sounds to your imagination..... Other than that, there wasn't any pain, and I'm thankful!

Third, I got picked to emcee for the orientation! Olympiad. I'm super psyched cuz its a really good opportunity for me. And I could not be happier! Well, it would be better if the event wasn't conducted outdoors in the hot sun..I'm just saying ;)

Apart from those three things, life has been rather routine. School occasionally..dum dee dum. Had our presentations for Global Citizenship just now. Despite having absolutely no dry runs as a group, I think my group managed to pull it off. Let's hope I get an A for this module! One final aspect to complete before the end- reflective journals. Imma try to complete them by tmr so that my weekends won't be burnt.

Phone..mole..emcee..school..Hmm, what else. Love? Well that's a whole other story. Let's not get there.

xoxo,

Hanna B.

#711 Back to reality

2011-04-11T23:04:00.000-07:00

So its been about three days since I've been back from Perth.

What can I say, Perth has taught me many, many things. Delving into them would take an excruciatingly long time. But then again, if I don't, I might piss off a few, since I've already mentioned it. Wait, dyou get what I'm saying? Sometimes I ramble without a cause. Oh well.

Friendships. What can I say? I've forged so many beautiful friendships throughout the course of the 19 days. JZ, Amirah, Ching, and Keith:) You guys made the trip a really pleasant one for me. And I had a blast, mainly because of the four of you. Of course, there are more things I could say about the other friendships formed during the trip, but I'd rather not, especially not here. But let me just end by saying that you get to know of a person's true colours only after travelling with them. And like JZ said, whatever happened in Perth should stay in Perth.

Money. I didn't really buy a great deal of things for myself. I mean, compared to my other Perth mates. Most of the things that I bought were for people! I didn't feel the need to splurge on myself. Shopping for other people made me feel good about myself, and that was all I needed. Speaking of which, I'm rather proud of myself. My luggage weight was 13kg at the start of the trip and 16kg at the end of the trip. All my friends' were 20kg+ by the end of the trip, and Jillian's was 28kg.heh heh heh.

Now that I'm back in Singapore, I've come to realise that things have not changed much. The trip whizzed past in my opinion. I can still remember mum and dad sending me off at the airport, so vividly. The entire trip just felt like one long dream of some sort. And now, its back to reality.

I've got to go to school tomorrow for a group consultation with Ms Khoo. Then I've got an emcee audition! British accent, yay or nay? HAHA I KID. Of course not. But I must say, my perth buddies were well entertained with my British accent. Man, I miss them loads. I miss the independence. Maybe, possibly, the future holds something exciting for me. All in God's hands :)

Shall end off with a couple of peekchaz! More can be found on facebook. Credits to Chingz, Jillian, Nic (and me) for the pics!

xoxo,
Hanna B.

#710 Tonight I'll be sleeping with my eyes wide open

2011-03-31T05:48:00.000-07:00

About halfway through the trip. Can't wait to go back to Singapore, really. I'm starting to miss everyone a whole lot.

And there are certain things you cant sort out from a thousand miles away.

I need to be in Singapore. Time, please do your thang.

xoxo,

Hanna B.

#709 PERTH!

2011-03-29T01:37:00.000-07:00

Perth is an amazing country- where do I even begin?

Everything about the country is different. The people are friendly, and the youths are HOT. Note that I said 'youths' and not just 'boys'. The girls here are gorgeous, and my cmm mates and I just cant get our sneaky-fb-stalker eyes away from them. Their style, their smiles, are just brimming with confidence. Wish I had that.

The only thing worth changing is the mood-swingy weather. There are times when the weather is scorching hot to the point of no control, and then there are times when you feel like you just stepped out of the hotel, into another air-conditioned place, when actually, you're already outdoors. When its cool, its really great.

I can honestly see myself studying here. Unlike Singapore, I can actually pay attention in lectures after only sleeping for 4-5 hours the night before. I don't know whether its because what we're studying just interests me, or whether I just pay more attention to people with accents. Whatever it is, I know that if presented with an opportunity, I could actually do well here, because I can pay attention in classes.

The university campus is MASSIVE and BEAUTIFUL. I honestly cannot stress that enough. Brick walls and arches. It creates the illusion of Hogwarts. I love it! And I also love the fact that there are many empty grass fields for students to hang out at. Like instead of having study benches, like Singapore, the students at uwa will find a shady spot under a tree to have some quiet time to themselves to do a bit of light reading. Wish I could do that in Singapore without looking like a complete whackjob.

Right now, I'm in my hotel room, with Amirah and Keith, and we just got back from school. We had a 45 minute lecture, a 3-hr break and a tutorial, where we watched a documentary. During the 3-hr lecture, we took a walk to a nearly hangout for the uwa kids and got ourselves Turkish Bread (which is like HUUUUUGE, mind you)

I must say, from the time I've been in Perth till now, I've tried really cool food, food that I wouldn't normally have in Singapore. And I've also had the chance to cook! Though after a few attempts, I've come to realise that I can't really cook. The pasta that my room mate and I attempted to cook was a bit of a failure. But its alright, I'll get better. Just gotta bug my mum to start teaching me how to make curry.

OH CURRY! Man do I miss indian food. And it has only been 7 days! God. When I get back, I'm not gonna complain about having too much indian food. I miss the spicy, tantalising burts of flavour from indian food, you have no idea. Apart from kebabs, everything else is bland.

The shopping here is UHMAZING. Its actually cheaper than the cost of food, no kidding! My cmm mates and I went to this place called Harbourtown last Saturday and it was basically a shopping centre filled with Factory Outlets from brands like the classic, Billabong,Roxy,Ripcurl, Ally, Valley Girl, etc. One top can cost as cheap at AUD$4. What a steal!

Pictures, are uploaded on facebook. Glad I'm getting positive response for them. I was a bit skeptical about bringing my little pink sony digicam, because I knew it would pale in comparison to all the dslr cameras my other cmm mates were going to bring. But all in all, it has served me well, and I'm happy!

All in all, I'm really enjoying myself in Perth so far. Almost don't wanna go back! But then again, I miss loads of people, and since my data usage is only limited to 4gb, I can't spend too much time on skype. What a pity.

Anyway, I gotta go back to doing my work now. Yes people, I'm not really here on holiday. Gotta study too!

xoxo,

Hanna B.

#708 Beyond my control

2011-03-27T02:07:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, you just need to stop and think of what YOU want. What is right for you, what you need.

Its a matter of give and take. You win some, you lose some. You won't be happy with your decision entirely at first, but in time to come, you'll realise that it was the right thing to do.

Two boys quoted William Shakespeare's quote, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" at two different points in my life.

I would feel that this quote is apt now, but then again when I think about it, it makes me feel sad. Yes, I may be missed, but you're channelling your feelings of emptiness into another avenue. And as much as I understand why, it makes me feel like crap. Because there's nothing I can do about it until I come back to Singapore on the 8th. And trust me, a lot of things can happen in 12 days. Feelings can change. That's the scariest, emotions.

At times, you want to be greedy. Like you want to be adored unconditionally, and not fall short of the attention. But in this situation, its impossible.

I wish I had the balls to stand up for myself and tell you that I won't settle for anything less than perfection. But that in itself would be a contradiction, because nothing in life is perfect. And I don't know if this is as perfect as things can get between the two of us.

Simplicity. That's all I'm praying for. God, help me. Make things simple for me. Make me sort out my priorities and help me make the right decision. Make him sort out his thoughts and decide whats best for himself too. Because ultimately, I only want the best for him. And whatever it is, whether it'll make me sad- let it be done. Fast. I can't keep holding on to something that's so fragile. Something beyond my control.

xoxo,
Hanna B.

#707 Perth

2011-03-26T04:13:00.000-07:00

This place is beautiful. Yes, its a school. University of Western Australia. Other than the horrendous heat, I love it here in Perth. The people are pleasant, and its so peaceful.

I could study here.

Perhaps, perhaps in the future.

MIKA - We Are Golden

2011-03-19T01:09:00.000-07:00

This is what I do when I'm home alone. HEH.

#705 Packing

2011-03-19T00:31:00.000-07:00

Hehe I'm packing for my Perth trip. So exciting!

19 days there. Packed 11 tops + PJs, and my luggage is already full.

Maybe I should change to a bigger luggage........